SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)

"The holidays bring people together. Depression sets you apart."

The holiday season, often considered a time of joy and celebration, can also be a difficult time for many individuals who struggle with depression. As someone who has suffered from severe depressive disorder, I am well versed in the challenges that come with this time of year. Living with mental health issues during the holidays is really hard. Increased rates of depression during the holidays have been documented by doctors and mental health professionals for years. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) found that 64% of people living with a mental illness reported that their conditions worsened around the holidays. 

For many who struggle with depression, this time of year can exacerbate feelings of sadness. The pressure to feel happy and festive during the holidays can be overwhelming for those dealing with mental health issues. When someone isn’t feeling happy or cheerful, or if they can’t be with their loved ones, the apparent cheer surrounding them can make them feel even more down, and often alone with their feelings – which deepens symptoms of depression. Additionally, the emphasis on family gatherings and social events can highlight feelings of inadequacy and anxiety, or loneliness and isolation for individuals who may not have family or friends around, or who have experienced loss during the year. 

One key figure in the field of depression during the holidays is Dr. Norman Rosenthal, a psychiatrist who has studied the impact of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) on mental health. Dr. Rosenthal's research has highlighted the connection between the changing seasons and mood disorders, shedding light on the challenges that many individuals face during the holidays. His work has helped to raise awareness about the importance of addressing mental health issues, particularly during times of increased stress and social expectations. 

The impact of depression can be profound, affecting every aspect of a person's life. From strained relationships with family and friends to decreased productivity at work, depression can have far-reaching effects on an individual's well-being. Feelings of hopelessness, guilt, and despair can be particularly intense during the holiday season, leading to increased rates of self-harm, substance abuse, and suicidal ideation. The stigma surrounding mental illness can also prevent individuals from seeking help, exacerbating feelings of shame and isolation. 

Speaking from experience, despite an amicable divorce and mutually agreed annual alternating of our kids each Christmas has proven to be a much more difficult adjustment for me, and inevitably triggers deep sadness during the years when I am alone. I struggle to find joy without my children, or purpose without a workload during the holidays. Particularly in Puerto Rico where so much of the holidays season is about family (loneliness), social gatherings (severe anxiety), and many businesses shudder for most of the season (aimlessness). As the holidays draw nearer, my feelings of aimlessness, anxiety, and loneliness become more pronounced and I find myself sinking into the darkness.

Ironically, the years when I do have my kids are rarely any better! In part because I feel overwhelmed doing it all on my own with a pittance of the budget they would otherwise enjoy. While another part comes with feeling so frustrated that I can’t just enjoy things like everybody else seems to. If it wasn’t hard enough to fake the joy of the season for all to see, the overwhelming guilt that comes from not making everything perfect completely levels me. But trying to do it all, all the time, with perfection in mind is a recipe for disaster, especially when I'm also balancing a fragile mental state.

Last year, following a lonely and difficult half-century milestone marker, I put all of my eggs into one basket, Christmas with my girls in Australia. I planned out every detail, researched every "must see/do", mapped out a comprehensive itinerary, secured us incredible accommodations, purchased tickets for all the top attractions, and completely OCD'd the entire trip. I was well on the path of severe depression before the trip began, but somehow I had convinced myself that I would magically transform during the holidays.

Three days into it, I was crying myself to sleep, frustrated with my teentards for being ungrateful, obsessing over the timetable, beating myself up when things didn't go "perfectly", feeling overwhelming shame and guilt, constantly stressing over the minutia, and sinking deeper and deeper into my depressive state. I had saved every penny for 2 and half years for the trip of a lifetime with my girls, and I completely ruined it for everyone. Just as I had done a couple of years before when I took my girls to New York, and like I had done a few years before that when I took them skiing in Canada.

So this year, I have decided to make a plan, preemptively to manage the holiday blues. With help from TinyBuddha.com, I will follow the advise of Lori Deschene:

1. Feel my feelings. The only way out is through.

2. Open up to others. I don't have to face this alone.

3. Meditate to quiet the thoughts that torment me.

4. Journal to purge the voices in my head.

5. Start a new holiday tradition instead of focusing on what once was.

6. Make a gift. Creativity is therapeutic.

7. Get moving. Exercise boosts endorphins.

8. Get outside. Nature heals.

9. Treat myself. A little self-care can go a long way.

10. Give to someone in need and get a helper's high.

I don’t know whether any of it will help, but I know that by being proactive, formulating a plan and at least trying will be better than just waiting around for it to engulf me.

As awareness of mental health issues continues to grow, there is a greater emphasis on destigmatizing depression and providing support for those in need. Initiatives such as mental health hotlines, online therapy programs, and community support groups can help individuals cope with the challenges of depression during the holidays and beyond. It is a complex and delicate issue that requires more attention and understanding from everyone.

Particularly during the holidays, it is important to consider the impact of depression on individuals and society at large in order to work towards a future where everyone feels supported and understood. By fostering a culture of empathy and acceptance, we can create a more inclusive and compassionate society for all. For more information, check out MakeItOk.org for many helpful tips and suggestions on how you can support individuals battling mental illness throughout the year, and make the pledge to stop the stigma.

If you are struggling with SAD I encourage you to be proactive. Work in a few extra therapy sessions. Reach out to family/friends. Research/create a new tradition unique to you. Write down your thoughts and allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, but don’t give it all your power. Take a minute each morning before you get out of bed and say one thing that you are happy about, or at any point throughout the day simply close your eyes and smile for 5 breaths, it doesn’t cost you anything, and your mind will thank you for it, I promise.

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