DBT Skills Cheat Sheet
- Vanessa Gillier
- Dec 21, 2025
- 3 min read
As I bring this chapter to a conclusion and begin to pivot to the next, I wanted to share something that was extremely helpful to me after returning from treatment, which I've circulated in numerous peer groups. It's a simple cheat sheet of all the DBT pillars, concepts and skills referenced throughout The Shattered Pieces blog. I hope others on their healing journey find it useful as well.
MINDFULNESS: (doing things with conscious intention)
WiseMind
Find level between the rational (facts, logic, knowledge)
and the emotional (reactive, feelings and emotions)
to reach a healthy equilibrium (balanced and mindful)
WHAT: (stress response)
Observe - body sensations
Describe - what you notice and how it feels
Participate - engage fully in the moment, then let it pass
HOW: (daily practice)
H-Honesty
O-Openmindedness
W-Willingness
EMOTIONAL REGULATION: (self-care)
STOP: (window of tolerance regulation)
S-Stop
T-Take a breath
O-Observe thoughts & feelings
P-Proceed mindfully in consistency with values
Opposite Reaction: (ANT response)
Reject the natural urge and do the opposite
ABC: (regular practice of mood enhancement)
A-Accumulate positive emotions (active engagement in pleasant activities)
B-Build mastery (challenging yourself and following through to completion)
C-Cope ahead (plan ahead for distress where possible, visualization)
PLEASE: (physical care)
PL-Physical Limitations (optimize health)
E-Eating (balanced nutrition and water)
A-Avoid(drugs/alcohol)
S-Sleep
E-Exercise
VITALS: (to succeed)
V-Validate yourself
I-Imagine a better life
T-Take small steps
A-Applaud yourself
L-Lighten the load (share chores)
S-Sweeten the pot (reward yourself periodically)
DISTRESS TOLERANCE: (self-love)
5 Senses: (to self-soothe)
5 things you see
4 things you hear
3 things you smell
2 things you feel
1 thing you taste
TIPP: (stress response)
T-Temperature
I-Intense exercise
P-Paced breathing
P-Paired muscle relaxing
PROS/CONS: (maladaptive coping skill reprogramming)
Weigh the benefits and drawbacks to acting on your urges and or reactions
IMPROVE: (self-care)
I-Imagery
M-Meaning
P-Prayer
R-Relaxing actions
O-One thing in the moment (focus)
V-Vacation (mini-break/childs pose)
E-Encouragement (positive self-talk)
ACCEPTS: (active awareness)
A-Activities
C-Contributions
C-Comparisons
E-Emotions
P-Pushing Away
T-Thoughts
S-Sensations
Radical Acceptance: (peacefulness practice)
W-What’s done is done
I-It is what it is
F-Forgive not forget
I-I cannot control everything
Problem Solving: (active adulting)
Think of alternative resolutions
Any idea is better than none
Advise yourself as a friend
Be patient and present
INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS: (positive relationships)
GIVE: (it’s not what you say, but how you say it)
G-Gentle
I-Interest
V-Validate
E-Easy manner
FAST: (self-respect)
F-Fair
A-Apologies (no more)
S-Stick to your values
T-Truth
DEARMAN: (respectful request for revision)
D-Describe (facts)
E-Express (feelings)
A-Assert (needs)
R-Reinforce
M-Maintain (position)
A-Appear (confidence)
N-Negotiate (not demanding, asking)
THINK: (conflict resolution)
T-Think (perspective)
H-Have Empathy
I-Interpretations (why)
N-Notice (take note)
K-Kindness
BOUNDARIES: (healthy)
Set a limit/rules for personal comfort, safety and tolerance.
Verbal
Emotional
Physical
Time
Material
Sexual
DESI (boundary setting)
D-Describe (I feel X.)
E-Explain (when you Y.)
S-Suggest (I’d prefer Z.)
I-Involve (How do u feel about that?)
1st infraction = repeat DESI
2nd infraction = repeat DESI + consequence
3rd infraction = execute consequence
OTHER HELPFUL COMMUNICATION TOOLS
Feelings Check-In:(helps identify issues/sets tone)
Wind-down: (healthy conversation starters)
Leave behind for the day
Highlight of day
Grateful for & why
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