Mindfulness – Self-awareness

“Be where you are; otherwise, you will miss your life.” – Buddha

Mindfulness is a focus on being conscientiously aware of what you're sensing and feeling in the present moment, without interpretation or judgment.

By utilizing a heightened awareness of the sensory stimuli within and around us at any given moment (our breathing, our bodily sensations, etc), to enable us to better connect with the contents of our mind (thoughts, feelings, emotions). Thereby, allowing us to shift an unhealthy emotion or reaction to a more productive, thoughtful response.

It is self-awareness on another level that may sound daunting but is really a simple matter of practice and repetition.

To begin the pursuit of mindfulness is to practice becoming more aware of what feeling we are having at any moment. Not a physical feeling, rather an emotional feeling. Then delving deeper into the emotional feeling to be more specific, and where possible, even further.

A helpful tool that we often referred to in our group counseling sessions as part of the pre-therapy guidelines review and ‘feelings check-in’ was the Feelings Wheel. The 7 primary emotions, broken down, and further distinguished.

Once you are able to identify and name your emotional feelings, it is necessary to establish the physical sensations in your body and what your breathing is like. Often, when we experience different emotions, we have a physical and/or respiratory reaction. With anger quite often our jaw tenses, our brow furrows, our breathing becomes faster, shallower. Likewise, when we experience happiness, we often experience a warmth throughout the body, our chest feels lighter, our breathing becomes softer.

Becoming more aware of our breathing and the physical sensations within helps us to recognize the emotional responses we experience to external triggers. Through repetition, we become more consciously aware of our feelings and can then begin to actively reframe unhelpful emotional responses and behaviors.

Until you become aware, you aren’t acting with any choice guiding your behavior, it is simply an automatic response. Being aware of your emotions can help you cope with specific feelings, deal with certain situations, and handle external triggers with less reactionary response, and greater self-control.

Personally, it has helped me tremendously in recognizing and reframing the automatic response to inconsiderate people. Whereas, previously I would instinctually react, often angrily and patronizingly, I can now recognize the emotion and redirect the response. Perhaps they have an emergency. Perhaps they didn’t see me. Perhaps they don’t know any better. I can not assume. I am not walking in their shoes. And not everything is about me! Although I still enjoy a witty sarcastic inner dialogue.

“Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.” - Unknown

Try practicing mindfulness throughout the day to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress with a few simple exercises:

• 5 Senses – take time to experience your surroundings with all 5 of your senses (sight, smell, sound, taste, touch)

• Be Present – intentional awareness of whatever it is that is happening in the moment (with openness, acceptance, and attention)

• Accept Yourself – be your own best friend and treat yourself as such

• Focus on your Breathing – take a minute to sit down, feet flat on the floor, back straight, hands resting palm up on your legs. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. In through your nose. Out through your mouth. Filling your belly like a balloon. Focus on your breath moving in and out of your body. If physical sensations, thoughts, or distractions interrupt, note the experience, and then return your focus to your breath.

Even for just a minute, you can begin to feel the stress release, and the self-awareness and self-care effects.

The practice of mindfulness has surged in recent years as a result of the many physical and mental health benefits. Studies have shown that it reduces the potential for physical health related manifestations, improves the immune system, athletic performance, and contributes to a healthier aging process. For people with psychological conditions, such as depression and anxiety, as well as for individuals undergoing treatment for drug and alcohol addiction, mindfulness practices have been shown to enable people to respond more effectively and with better, lasting outcomes.

It takes some time and effort, but really not that much. If you can, set the intention to practice mindfulness every day for a week, one day at a time. Think of it as a personal commitment to nurturing yourself. Over time, you may find that mindfulness becomes effortless.

I hope you will join me in delving deeper into the 4 DBT pillars and the life-changing benefits they can offer in seeing ourselves with open eyes. Stay tuned for the next pillar!

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