Signs You're Healing

Even if you're still arguing with yourself in the shower.

vecteezy - Karin chantanaprayura

So, you're on a healing journey. Maybe you’ve started therapy, maybe you’ve downloaded three meditation apps and opened one, once. Maybe you’ve just stopped identifying yourself as “emotionally feral.” Progress!

Let’s be honest, healing is not some perfectly lit montage of yoga, journaling, and suddenly being emotionally fluent. Most of the time, it looks like talking to yourself in the shower like you’re on Sex and The City (I know I’m dating myself - still, “I couldn’t help but wonder…”) dramatically rehashing old conversations and imaginary clapbacks you’ll never actually deliver.

And guess what? That’s okay. That is still healing.

The thing is, healing rarely looks like what Instagram tells you - sun salutations at dawn, green smoothies, and a vintage gold leaf edged journal your grandmother left you. Sometimes healing looks like surviving a Tuesday without texting your ex, or just wearing real pants.

Here are a few totally valid, lowkey signs you’re making progress - even if you’re still mentally fighting your ex-monster-in-law in the shampoo aisle of your brain.

• You now recognize the red flags…before moving in with them

In the past, you may have mistaken emotional unavailability for mystery. Now you’re like, “Ohhh, this is not a puzzle to solve. This is a manchild who replies with ‘k’.”

Growth.

• You pause before reacting (even if you still react later in the car)

You didn’t pop off immediately. You saved the full monologue for later - in your car, in your head, possibly out loud while gripping the steering wheel like it owes you money.

That’s called emotional restraint. You’re welcome.

• You talk to yourself nicer (sometimes)

Your inner monologue is slowly shifting from “you absolute disaster” to “hey, we tried our best.”

That’s basically a group hug from your brain.

• You know your patterns - and you roast them gently

“Oh look, I’m emotionally detaching and pretending I’m fine again. Classic me.”

When you can see your own defense mechanisms like reruns of your favorite sitcom, you're self-aware, not stuck.

• You celebrate tiny wins

Getting out of bed. Responding to that email. Drinking actual water instead of just coffee and tears. These are victories.

Throw a mini party in your head. Maybe with imaginary cupcakes.

• You catch yourself mid-overthinking spiral

Do you still spiral? Absolutely. But now you catch it halfway down the shame vortex, throw on some ambient chillhop, and tell your brain, “Hey. Let’s not do this right now.”

That’s like ninja-level emotional awareness.

• You accept that some days are just WTF

Not every day is a breakthrough. Some days you’ll be weirdly smad because a dog looked at you funny. That’s okay.

You let yourself feel sodd now, instead of blaming it on your childhood.

• You still argue with yourself in the shower…but now you laugh

The imaginary conversations still happen. You still rehash old fights. But now? You can laugh about it. Because nothing says personal growth like winning imaginary arguments with your boss, your ex, or that barista who judged your sugar-free latte + muffin phase.

That, my friend, is healing.

Healing isn’t about becoming some untouchable zen robot who never gets triggered or revenge-texts at 2 a.m. It’s about learning to witness your own chaos with curiosity, compassion, and maybe a little humor.

So if you’re still having imaginary arguments in the shower - but now you’re kind of laughing at yourself while you do it? That counts. That’s healing. Keep going.

Healing isn’t linear. It's a hot mess. That’s why I’ve been oversharing like it’s my part-time job - because if I trip on my emotional shoelaces, maybe someone else out there won’t have to faceplant quite as hard.

Think of healing like a toddler learning to walk: lots of wobbling, occasional tantrums, and an impressive amount of snacks along the way. It's not about making giant leaps it's about getting back up and trying again, every step counts. Even if you're still arguing with yourself in the shower.

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