Opposite Action - imagine the possibilities
- Jack Gailer
- Jan 5, 2025
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 25, 2025
By Jack Gailer
After last night, I’m realizing more and more that feeling crappy is the only way to self-discovery and growth. Facing some sort of mental adversity, whether it be fear, anger, sadness, rejection, even psychosis, offers an opportunity for you to create a different relationship with those hardships. My spiritual advisor refers to psychosis as a spiritual emergence (positive change event) that the mind turns into a spiritual emergency (negative change event). This is because the conscious mind has not learned the simple concept of rewiring habitual behaviors and thoughts, and therefore, it panics.
Psychosis is an extreme example, but an important consideration, as it is what started my true healing journey. The same process, however, can be applied to every emotion. For example, if you feel lonely, and you decide “I’m not going to be active today, because I’m sad”, or else, something as simple as “I’m not going to make a healthy breakfast”, or “have a conversation with…”, or whatever it may be, essentially, all you are doing is creating and reinforcing the idea that you will give yourself less when you feel that emotion. So, when you feel it again, the next time it becomes even more habitual to give yourself less.
What happens when you do the opposite? Well, the opposite, of course! If you feel sad and choose to put effort into yourself, your actions, and meaningful engagement with others, you actually begin to diminish the hold that emotion typically has. Not just for today, but in all future instances, as you are physically changing the association your conscious mind has with the subconscious emotion. It can be a domino in one direction and ruin your entire day (plus make things even worse next time). However, if you consciously catch it and take the opposite action, you can often, very quickly turn it into a myriad of positive possibilities.
It is comparable to the phenomenon of when people drag themselves to the gym even though they don’t want to go and say, “I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I ended up having the best workout.” This is an entirely mental construct, but the same principle applies to any emotion. By being mindful and practicing conscious intentions you can apply the skill to recognize when you need to make a consciously positive choice/Opposite Action.
Imagine if each time you felt like crap you could say “Great! How good is this? I now have the opportunity to completely change the way my brain processes these feelings, and my reactions associated with this emotion!”
Our brains are mathematical and constantly manipulate us through habitual reactions. Consciously tuning into our subconscious allows us to re-route where these feelings would typically take us. We know to act positive when we feel positive, so why not manipulate your neurons to instinctively take positive action when you feel negative? The best part is, feeling shitty now becomes an opportunity for those thoughtful enough to take it!
To clarify, I’m not talking about a half-hearted attempt at opposite action to the emotion and then sulking about how it “isn’t working.” Remember not to give up in the early stages of practicing the DBT skill, opposite action, just because you don’t immediately feel differently. Genuine change is the result of persistence, enthusiasm, and authenticity. You have to really mean it and give it a bit of time.
I recommend mindfully moving your attention back and forth between the opposite action you are engaging in, the emotion you are attempting to create, the reasons why you would like to feel that way, and the emotion you are currently feeling.
Tap into your wise mind. In DBT, wise mind refers to the part of the brain where the emotional mind and the rational mind overlap. It is part reason and part emotion and what makes you know you’re in this mind is often a sense of intuition. Some describe it as an ‘aha’ moment. Many people experience wise mind when making a decision that they know is absolutely the right thing to do. “Experiencing” the right choice in a dilemma, when the feeling comes from deep within rather than from a current emotional state. It’s about getting to the heart of the matter, seeing or knowing something directly or clearly. Grasping the whole picture where only parts were previously understood. The calm that follows the storm.
Next, predict the positive. Make the choice to take an optimistic stance toward the long-term usefulness of this strategy. Surrender to hopefulness. Remember that no matter how painful your current emotion is, it will not last forever. Remember that there were times in the past when you felt differently in a positive way. Allow yourself the gift of believing that you will feel that way again.
As you become more confident in being able to gather intuitive knowledge from your wise mind, you will feel better equipped to discern between times when it is in your best interest to take opposite action to emotions versus times when it is best to just fully embrace your emotional experience. Emotions are never “wrong,” even when they are not backed up by factual information. Your emotional experience is valid by the simple virtue that you are experiencing it in this moment. No matter how valid, emotions aren’t always effective in bringing about healthy outcomes. Allow your wise mind to be your teacher.
Create the positive change event that your negative self is maladaptively trying to harness in its own twisted way. When repeated over and over, the neuro pathways become more accessible, wider and deeper. Like a dirt road that’s been freshly paved. And the old routes begin to recede. By making a mindful acceptance of a negative emotion, enacting an opposite action, and forming an optimistic forecast of a better outcome, the possibilities are limitless. Try it for yourself!
Best,
Jack
I hope you will join me in creating new passages and making space for healthier outcomes, by turning negative emotions into positive actions. Counter-cultivating negative predilections with a wise mind can lead to boundless opportunities. Stay tuned for more!
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